Book 2 of the Frangel series will be released on 1st February 2025
Book 2 of the Frangel series will be released on 1st February 2025
Abuse is abuse. Violence is violence - whether you are a male or a female victim it makes no difference in terms of the fact that it is abuse and there is no justification for it. However there are some differences in how it affects each gender.
There is a typical pattern that domestic abuse follows from the start. Every situation is different, but there appears to be a common thread in the majority of cases, usually starting with the couple meeting and the victim being treated well with lots of romance.
Slowly the perpetrator starts speaking negatively of the victims friends and family in a bid to try and isolate her/him from them. This gradually develops into the victim only having the perpetrator in their life where they slowly but surely depend on them as they become ground down with their self esteem so eroded that they do not believe they could survive without them or that nobody else will have them. The victim eventually believes that she cannot survive without the perpetrator and whilst he/she is subjected to abuse they live for the next bit of affection which is shown to them. This is a very slow and gradual process, so slow that the victim is unaware that it is happening. She/he then does not have the strength or confidence to leave their partner and the cycle of abuse gets worse as the periods between affection get longer and longer, until they are living with a very little affection and a lot of abuse.
Females living with domestic abuse very often stay out of fear that their partner may take the children or a fear of financial survival. This fear often comes from threats made by her partner that should she leave him then he will ensure that he gets custody of the children, or that he will ensure he finds her and takes the children. This can, of course, also happen with males, however it would appear to be women that it is most common with.
Click here to find support to help you whilst you are in an abusive situation, to help you leave or to help you cope once you have managed to break free from the relationship.
In terms of domestic abuse, there is no difference in what happens with regards to the actual abuse between males and females.
The difference is really in how society deals with the difference in gender.
With female victims it is widely accepted that they are indeed victims and it is very much unacceptable, with a vast amount of support out there being for the female.
However with male victims, the support groups are far less and society does not acknowledge male victims in the same way it acknowledges female victims.
Males often fear ridicule that they are "weak" and will not be taken seriously (note however that this is not exclusive to males and can also happen to females). This can make it very difficult for a male to come forward to report domestic abuse or seek help and support.
Clare's law, otherwise known as Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, or Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland (DSDAD) in Scotland, is a law which was introduced after a 36 year old female - Clare Wood - was murdered by her ex partner. Clare was unaware of her ex boyfriends history of violence against women.
Clare's father, Michael Brown, fought to give people the right to find out whether or not they have reason to be concerned about their partner. He also fought to give police and other agencies the power to disclose to that person, if there are reasons to be concerned that their partner has a history of domestic abuse.
Whilst Clare was a female victim, it is fully acknowledged that males are also victims and this law also applies to males seeking to establish whether or not their partner (male or female) is a person with a history of domestic abuse.
If you have concerns that your partner may have a history of this nature, click on the relevant link below to submit a request for information.
If you live in Scotland click here
If you live in England click here
If you live in Wales click here
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