PERPETRATORS

If you are hurting someone you love, then you have clicked on this page for a reason - the right reason - because you are looking for help. Accepting that you need help is the first step towards getting the support you need to stop hurting those you love.

​Domestic abuse is not just about physically hurting someone, it is also about trying to control them - who they see, where they go, what they do, the money they spend. 

Most of the time domestic abuse is about the perpetrator trying to control the victim. Sometimes this is done out of fear of losing them, but in an attempt to control them, so you do not lose them, all you are doing is pushing them further away and making them want to leave you rather than want to stay with you.

​If there are children in your relationship then they will be hurting, suffering and witnessing so much more than you realise. Even if you think they are not seeing or hearing anything because they are not in the same room, then you are wrong, because they hear and see enough to cause them lasting emotional damage for the rest of their lives. 

Some children may go on to become violent because it is all they have known as they have grown up. They have learnt that violence gets you a desired behaviour. Others grow up knowing it is wrong, but have a fear of relationships, whilst many end up in abusive relationships because they believe it is what they deserve and that it is "normal."

GETTING HELP

​You can find help on the resources page of this website or the following links:

Respect
​DVIP

The Freedom Programme for Men 

HIDDEN HURT