Book 2 of the Frangel series to be released soon!
Book 2 of the Frangel series to be released soon!
BULLYING is when someone uses behaviour towards another person, or a group of people, that intends causing them harm, upset, or fear.a
What kind of behaviour is bullying?
Is where one calls another names, or directs speech towards another which is intended to make them frightened or upset. It can also be threats, teasing or making jokes about another person.
Is where one uses a part of their body to make contact with the part of the body of another person, intending to frighten or hurt them. Angry words can be used at the same time or contact may not actually be made with the other person, but they may give the impression that they are going to or they may try but fail. Stealing from another. Spitting at another. Tripping someone up. Breaking the belongings of another. These are just a few examples.
Is where one person ridicules another, calls them names, belittles them to make them feel bad about themselves. Spreads rumours.
Is when the internet is misused to harass, intimidate, belittle, frighten or hurt another. Messages are sent privately or publicly and are often posted through social media sites, causing humiliation, embarrassment and anxiety.
WHO GETS BULLIED?
Too many people get bullied, and that can be children or adults, but bullying can often be categorised as follows:
Racist - bullying someone because of their race, religious beliefs, skin colour or culture
Ableist - bullying another because of their special needs
Homophobic - bullying someone because of their sexuality or gender identity
Sexual - unwanted sexual harassment, including being pressured into sending images of yourself
Often people are bullied because they are different. But being different is what makes you YOU. so don't give into the pressure of conforming to be what someone else wants you to be.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMEONE IS BEING BULLIED?
These are just a few of the signs that someone who is being bullied will display:
Quiet and withdrawn
Difficulty trusting others
Lack of self confidence
Reluctance to take part in activities
Loss of interest in normal activities
Personal possessions being broken or disappear
Refusing to discuss what is wrong
WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR SOMEONE WHO YOU THINK IS BEING BULLIED
Ensure their safety as far as you can - if you know they are at risk, tell someone
Ask them if there is anything you can do to help.
Let them know you are there for them if they want to talk.
If you believe they are being bullied - tell them you see it too, so they know they are not imagining it.
Ask them if they would like you to go with them to speak to someone.
Look up some helpful phone numbers/websites and give it to them.
Encourage them to stand up for themselves by telling the bully they do not like their behaviour.
Sometimes all you can do is just be there for them.
“Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.”
Bullying is when one person continually behaves in a way that hurts another. This is done deliberately where the person doing the bullying wants to, and chooses to, hurt another.
Bullying can happen in many ways, such as:
Encouraging others not to be friends with that person
Online bullying via email or social media
Children can be victims of bullying at school, in the playground, in the street, online or even on their mobile phone.
WHY DO PEOPLE BULLY OTHERS?
Those who bully others are looking to gain a feeling of power, purpose and control over you. They will find something they don't like about you and continually push it upon you until you begin to believe what they are telling you, even if its not true. They do this because they want the power and control of knowing that they have made you feel bad about yourself, usually because they feel bad about themselves and want to deflect that feeling onto someone else.
There are many reasons why they may do this. as you can see below. Whilst none of these are an excuse or a reason to bully another, it may give some understanding as to what leads others to be so unkind :
They have been bullied themselves
They have had a difficult home life
They are in or have had a difficult and/or controlling relationship
They were in a controlling relationship
They have no control over their own lives
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP SOMEONE WHO IS BEING BULLIED
Speak to the person being bullied and tell them you want to help them
Tell them you can go to tell a teacher with them
Persuade them to tell their parents
Speak to your own parents to see if they can speak to a teacher or can think of another way you can help them
Persuade your friend to write everything down - this helps not only get rid of bad feelings rather than bottling them up, but will also help if the bullying does not stop and the police have to become involved so they have a record of what the bully has done and how often they have done it
Make sure you and your other friends keep that person company during breaks so they are not on their own and less likely to be got at by the bully.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP YOURSELF IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED
Tell someone you trust - a parent, friend, friends parent, teacher, doctor, school nurse, social worker, family friend are just a few ideas as to who you may be able to turn to.
Call/email/text someone for support - childline offers support to you when you need it.
As hard as it may be, do NOT let the bully bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself - be determined to know how special and beautiful you really are - because you ARE.
LINKS WHICH MAY HELP YOU:
Please take a moment to watch the brief video below that illustrates the devastating impact of bullying on someone's life. Remember to always treat others with the same kindness and respect that you would want for yourself. If you wouldn't want to experience what Holly went through in the video, then don't subject anyone else to it either. If you know someone who is going through a tough time like "Holly," try to be their friend and offer them someone to talk to. This small act of kindness can make a big difference in their life, and you'll feel good about yourself for doing it.
Please take a moment to watch this video and witness the positive impact of standing up against bullying. Refuse to be a bystander and allow bullies to ruin someone's life. Let's show them that their actions are not welcome nor will they be tolerated. Instead, let's strive to be kind and caring, which is far more rewarding than cowardly acts of bullying. If you witness someone being bullied, stand up for them or report it to a trusted adult. Let's make a difference together.
Being deliberately cruel to another in a bid to make yourself feel a bigger and better person is not just something that happens to children. It can, and often does, happen to adults too. The main difference is that whilst it is normally relatively easy to spot a child who is bullying another, adults who bully are often more sneaky and not so easy to spot. Some of those who have bullied as a child, go on to bully others as an adult, which means that some bullies have a lifetime of knowing how to be a bully and get away with it.
Bullying an adult is often hidden behind a high powered job or lots of money, which may make it feel difficult to confront. The chances of you being able to do something about turning the bully into a nicer person are very unlikely as there is something within them that they need to address. So, all you can do is make sure that you look after yourself.
Whether you are being bullied as a child or an adult, it makes no difference, the intention is the same - to hurt and upset you.
These are just a few steps you can take to try and put an end to it:
Tell someone you trust - they will be able to see what is going on and back you up if you choose to report it to either a manager at your work or to the police.
If you feel confident enough, you could confront the bully and ask them why they are doing what it is they are doing to you.
If you feel comfortable you could tell them how their behaviour makes you feel.
keep a daily diary of what they are doing, including anybody who may have seen/heard anything.
SOME LINKS WHICH MAY BE OF BENEFIT:
BULLYING is about your behaviour - what you do, say and how you act towards and treat others. Therefore being a bully, for whatever reason, means that you CAN stop and you CAN change.
But only YOU can change your behaviour, which means you have to take a good look at yourself so you can understand why you are behaving the way you are.
First of all you need to accept that your behaviour IS affecting others and realise that it is NEVER okay to hurt another person (or animal). If someone has hurt, or upset, you then you need to talk to them and tell them how it made you feel, so they can understand what they have done. Bullying them won't solve anything, other than keeping the bitterness inside of you, making you feel horrible, whilst you make the other person feel miserable too.
WE ARE ALL THE SAME - WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS. WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK AT A PERSON?
DO YOU SEE SKIN COLOUR?
DO YOU NOTICE IF THE PERSON HAS A DISABILITY?
DO YOU THINK THEY LOOK "DIFFERENT"?
DO YOU SEE THE PERSON AS FAT/THIN?
DO YOU ASSOCIATE THAT PERSON WITH THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS?
DO YOU SEE THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE?
DO YOU TALK TO THEM, REGARDLESS OF AGE, SEX, COLOUR, RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, SIZE?
DO YOU NOT EVEN NOTICE IF THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT COLOUR OF SKIN/BODY SHAPE/RELIGION/DISABILITY?
EVERYONE deserves to be respected for who they are. Sure, there are people who do unkind and bad things and you would be right to not want to be in their company.
BUT for those people who do not hurt or harm others, why do they deserve to be bullied and treated unkind just because YOU think THEY look different to you? Just because their skin is a different colour to yours? Or because they may be fatter or thinner than you? Or because they may not be able to walk? Or talk?
There are so many reasons why people bully and physical appearance is just one of them. NO bullying is ever justified or okay. Ask yourself why you want someone to feel bad about themselves? Is it because you feel so bad about yourself that it makes YOU feel better?
Would YOU want to be treated the way you treat others? If not, then treat them the way you would like to be treated. With kindness and understanding. If you cannot say anything nice to a person, then why say anything at all?
ASK YOURSELF IF YOU DO/HAVE EVER DONE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
Send a text/email/social media message/voicemail just to make someone feel bad about themselves?
Start rumours about someone?
Say something to get a reaction?
Call somebody an unkind name?
Talk about that person to other people in the hope that they think bad of them too?
Take pleasure from seeing someone else upset?
Wait until nobody is around to be horrible to another?
Blame others for your own wrongdoing?
Physically hurt another?
Call someone names?
Try to control another person or their belongings/money?
Want to know everything about a friend/partner, such as where they are going, where they have been, who they spoke to?
If you have answered yes to any of the above, then its time to seek some help.
WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?
The good news is you CAN do something about it.
You have made the first major step towards change, and that is admitting to yourself that you have a problem.
Talk to someone - be honest in how you feel and tell them that you realise that you need help.
You could go to your GP/Teacher/Employer/friend/family member - anybody you trust. Your GP can refer you onto a counsellor for help.
Think about a time when someone made you feel bad - think about what that person could have done differently. Next time you are tempted to bully someone, remember those feelings and be determined not to be responsible for someone else feeling the same way.
The following helplines may be of benefit you:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/findoutmore/help-me-out-being-a-bully" rel="noopener" target="_blank">DO YOU BULLY?