Support for children

Children are victims of domestic abuse when they are in the same home where it is happening. This can be very frightening and distressing for a child and can cause serious psychological harm. Children can experience domestic abuse when they see or hear the abuse, or violence, or by witnessing their parents’ injuries. 

Children who have witnessed domestic abuse will experience a variety of emotions, including:

• Becoming withdrawn 
• Feeling and displaying anger 
• Lacking confidence 
• Feeling afraid 
• Health and/or sleeping problems 
• Being unable to cope at school 

Some children will try and intervene to stop the abuse, which can also have a traumatic effect on them.  ​Children see and hear much more than parents realise, even if they think they are hiding it from them. Even if the victim parent does manage to flee their home, and the abuse, taking the children with them it does not stop the trauma suffered by many children who still have to live with the nightmares of what they saw and heard.  

Domestic abuse does not always stop after separation; many children continue to be affected even if they no longer live with the person who was carrying out the abuse. Some children’s lives are spent moving house several times in order to make sure the abuser does not find them. These regular moves can cause disruptions to their education, as well as a loss of friends, family members and belongings. Living with an abuser is not an easy thing to escape from, however by remaining with them, it gives children the wrong message that violence is "normal" and that is what you use to solve conflict.  

​Children can often feel a real mixture of emotions, ranging from angry because of what is happening at home, to sadness, fear, confusion, loss of control over their own lives, guilty and alone. Where many children think that violence solves conflict, it can result in them becoming aggressive to other children, in and out of school, resulting in them being alienated from their peers, causing further isolation and a loss of self confidence.  ​If you are a child reading this then please know that it is NOT your fault and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. Witnessing someone hurt those you love, whether it is physically hurting them or hurting them by their words, can be very upsetting and talking to somebody about it can help. There are lots of people that you can speak to, to get help. It is important that you find an adult you can trust to talk to, like a teacher, doctor, neighbour or even one of your friends parents. 

If you cannot speak to anybody then click HERE to find some useful numbers that you can call to get help and support. Most of the numbers you can call are free and there is somebody on the other end of the line who can talk to you. Please also watch the short film below which will help you realise that you are not alone with this. 

​Sometimes if you can take your mind to a place that takes you away from your sad or worrying thoughts then it can help you cope better. Sometimes all you need to do is focus on one thing, like just concentrating on you breathing because when you focus really hard on just one thing, it means your brain cannot then think about something else, like something that is making you sad or worried. 

There are lots of videos you can watch or listen to with your eyes closed, or open, which can also help you take your mind to a nicer place. 

Try some of the videos that I have added for you below, which work for children (or even adults) of all ages.  

Remember - YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!